I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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