sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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