this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You almost got us killed.
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