i may or may not be watching the land before time
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
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Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
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the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize