I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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