i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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