I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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