So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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