omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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