so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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