You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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