oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
