he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
