my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
