I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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