Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
