return my video game
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
