don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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