the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
