He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
