If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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