I can text with my tongue
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
