new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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