I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
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I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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