I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
