yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
