ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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