do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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