She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
birth control should be required to get into college
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
