have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
