Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
