The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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