"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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