Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
