is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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