Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
