..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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