Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.

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(407): View more from Florida

I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.

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(812): View more from Indiana

McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?

(1-812): View more from Indiana

All of them

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(705): View more from Ontario

Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

like hot dogs and buns.

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(310): View more from California

Obama is so hot when he ends wars.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.

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(734): View more from Michigan

But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs

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(440): View more from Ohio

I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.

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