Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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