**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
