I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
