i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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