Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
