All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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