bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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