i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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