Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
