a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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