She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
