yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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