You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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