my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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