I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
