When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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