I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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