There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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