Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
