I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
