Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I faked an abortion last night.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
