Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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